How to handle a breakup

August 15, 2010 No Comments

The breakup of a relationship can be very difficult to deal with emotionally. The feelings can range anywhere from being confused, angry and sad to downright depressed.  Even if you wanted the relationship to end, there can still be a period of time where you feel disoriented.  It is important to allow the process to unfold naturally and honor whatever you feel at any given moment at your own pace.

Designate some time each day to think about your relationship, cry about it, shout about it, talk about it to someone, but then put it on the shelf for the rest of the time.  This way you can still maintain focus on other things. There is no need to go through this process alone.  You can surround yourself with family and friends.  You can see a therapist or join a support group.  You can spend some time helping others in an effort to take the attention away from yourself or you can try bits and pieces of all of the above.

Whatever avenue or avenues you choose, it is a good idea to take special care of yourself during this time.  Eat well.  Exercise.  Get plenty of sleep.  Make time for activities you enjoy.  It may also be helpful to engage in new activities, like taking a class on an interesting topic or starting a new hobby.  Perhaps you can book some time at a spa or take a mini vacation.  Long, hot bubble baths with sea salt help me.  The sea salt is also very detoxifying.  Figure out what you like to do best and do it often.

Once you are starting to feel a little better, spend some time recounting the experiences you had together.  Make a list of both the positive experiences and any lessons learned.  Make note of the acts you regret and the acts that hurt you.  Forgive yourself and your partner for any wrongdoings or mistakes.  Be thankful for the experience. The point to this exercise is to put the relationship behind you., so you can move past it to find peace and closure, freeing you both to move forward on your own separate paths. This does not preclude you from maintaining a friendship.

I know moving forward seems hard to imagine at first, especially when it feels like your heart is breaking. I had a breakup recently and had to put my own advice to the test.  At first I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, but I plowed through each step and slowly but surely I started feeling back to myself again. Although I won’t pretend it was easy, I was able to make these steps work for me. I hope you find them useful as well.

Tags: , How to handle a Breakup, Life Coaching

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